Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million over a Super Bowl ad featuring a “milkaholic” baby named Lindsay (above). The New York Post reports:

The ad — part of a series starring babies who play the stock market — features a boy apologizing to his girlfriend via video chat for not calling her the night before.

“And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” the baby girl asks him suspiciously.
“Lindsay?” the boy replies, just before a baby girl sticks her head into the frame and slurs, “Milk-a-what?”

Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.

“Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit,” Ovadia said.
“They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.”

NY Times Interview:

Q. I have to say that meeting you is rather odd. It’s like interviewing Mr. T. What to call you?
A. [Laughs] Lady Gaga or Gaga is fine. Everyone calls me one of the two, and it’s very normal. I think it’s mostly about being in my world and understanding what I do. Everyone here is around the magic that happens when I work with, say, Terence Koh or Francesco Vezzoli or Frank Gehry. When you’re around me and really see that all I do is live and breathe for my work, it’s not strange, it’s just Gaga.

Got it. Before we turned on the tape recorder, I was talking to you about betrayal. Is that something you think about more than ever?
Absolutely. You have no idea. More than dealing with betrayal, though, what is really hard is that I have had to leave my past behind me. It’s hard knowing who to trust with your personal life. When you cry in your room at night, you don’t always know who to call. So I am very close to my family.

Why would you disconnect yourself from your past?
I left it behind because I had to. For many reasons, like drugs. It’s no secret that I have had problems with drugs in the past. And some places represent to me things in terms of my mental and physical health, so you learn to move on, to preserve what your mission in life is, and my greater mission is my fans.

Really? That sounds very selfless for a pop star.
It is selfless. But, you know, I am very lucky. I work very hard, but when God opens that door for you — when life opens that door for you, I should say — I think it’s important to be giving, to return the love back. I have a spiritual guide, not a therapist but someone who in my mind is connected with a higher being, and he helps me a lot.

What does he bring to the party?
What I like about him is that he doesn’t speak to me like I am a normal person. He understands that I have an eccentric way of life and personality. And he also understands that I am famous, and I appreciate that. He tells me that I no longer serve my life in the normal way that people serve their life, that I must serve the greater good in my service to the universe. And for me, it’s my fans. I only serve my fans.

You were telling me earlier that you have been attached to M.A.C. since you were a young girl growing up in Manhattan. But did you not worry that being aligned to a makeup company, even one you love, would inevitably bring up questions about whether you could have the career you have without hair, makeup and styling?
Not at all. I don’t think I could live without hair, makeup and styling, let alone be the performer I am. I am a glamour girl through and through. I believe in the glamorous life and I live one. I don’t want anyone to separate who I am with my makeup on from who I am without it. I’m the same person.

What are those bruises on your arm?
You’ll laugh, but they’re welts. I burnt myself with a curling iron. Glamour, girl!
But, seriously, I love M.A.C. and I love the cause. I think it’s exciting that we have much more information about AIDS that we can share with the world. The most important thing for me, and why I chose to be in this campaign, is to remind people that it’s not a gay disease. Women around my age, between 18 and 24, and Cyndi [Lauper’s] bracket, who are increasingly at risk. I don’t think they chose us for those reasons alone, but if they did, then that’s good, too. Whatever it takes to eliminate the stereotypes about AIDS, that it’s always drug-related or the result of a promiscuous lifestyle.

Who were your glamour icons growing up?
I would say Leigh Bowery, Klaus Nomi, David Bowie, Grace Jones.

They all turned artifice into the sublime. How important is artifice to you?
Artifice, as in artificial?

No, as in a construct, a stratagem.
I don’t know, that word implies artificial to me. I don’t see myself in terms of artifice. I see myself as a real person who chooses to live my life in an open way — artistically. I am a walking piece of art every day, with my dreams and my ambitions forward at all times in an effort to inspire my fans to lead their life in that way.

You’ve definitely hitched your wagon to the art world, having worked with people like Terence and Francesco.
I have never intentionally made any sorts of decisions in those ways. I just gravitate to those people, and I’m sure there will be others. To be completely honest, every relationship I have built is based on a genuine and authentic sharing of dreams and aesthetics.

As a celebrity, do you think there is an unfair expectation of you now to one-up yourself constantly at the point where most people are finding their artistic feet?
I think that anyone who is lucky enough to have a voice in the music industry should not be finding their feet in front of the whole world. I don’t like celebrities; I don’t hang out with them; I don’t relate to that life. I love to talk about art and fashion and the future and comment on society on what we can do to change people’s perception. I am very much like Francesco, and I really admire what he does. He is very — in my opinion, anyway — centered on perception and how to shift the perceptions of the audience.

How do you think you are doing that with your fans?
I think I have changed the way they look at and devour fame. It’s something that tastes a little too sweet but is not so difficult to swallow.

You say you are an acute assessor of fame. You of all people must know, then, that celebrity is fleeting. Doesn’t that scare the bejesus out of you?
Not in the book of Gaga.

Sorry?
In the book of Gaga, fame is in your heart, fame is there to comfort you, to bring you self-confidence and worth whenever you need it. I want my fans to love themselves. It’s almost like I want to hypnotize them so when they hear my music they love themselves instantly.

Don’t you think it’s kind of creepy when you refer to yourself in the third person?
No. Not if you’re an artist, it’s not. I talk about myself in the third person all the time. I don’t live my life in the way someone like you does. I live my life completely serving only my work and my fans. And that way, I have to think about not what is best for my vagina but what is best for my fans and for me artistically.

Conan O’Brien has been using his new Twitter account to joke – but for one fan, his Tweets have had a serious impact.

“I’ve decided to follow someone at random. She likes peanut butter and gummy dinosaurs. Sarah Killen, your life is about to change,” Conan Tweeted on Friday.

Sarah, who Tweets under the handle @LovelyButton, quickly became a Twitter Trending Topic – and picked up thousands of followers.

Conan Tweeted about her again the next day, writing, “Sarah likes Twizzlers and craves cantaloupe. I like Raisinets, but melon feels creepy in my mouth. Twitter pals 4 eva! :)”

As of Saturday afternoon, she stood at 12,975 followers – 12,972 more than she had a day earlier.

“Everyone wants to know how many follower I had pre- Conan. The number you are looking for is 3,” she Tweeted. “LOL.

“I told my dad about all this craziness and he thought I was lying!” she added.

The Michigan resident has gone on to do interviews with the Los Angeles Times, Fancast and MTV News, telling the latter that Conan’s Tweets have changed her life.

“Definitely. He has no idea what he did for me,” she said. “Just the one day, this is the most awesome day ever.”

Conan launched his Twitter account just weeks ago and quickly climbed into the social network site’s most popular users with over half a million followers – still short of the 4 million-plus heights of Twitter king Ashton Kutcher, however.

In other Conan news, the former “Tonight Show” host is reportedly planning a live tour, with The Hollywood Reporter’s Showbiz 411 blog reporting this week that the gigs will kick off in mid-April.

Per his exit agreement with NBC, the comedian cannot return to TV until September.

Laura Dern found out the hard way — and so did Jennifer Aniston.

But Johnny Depp’s longtime gal pal has no intention of joining the trail of brokenhearted Hollywood ladies left crying to Oprah Winfrey after Angelina Jolie stole their men.

So when Vanessa Paradis found out her “Pirates of the Caribbean” stud and Jolie were to shoot a passionate love scene in their new movie “The Tourist,” she ordered Depp to find another gig, a source told The Post.

But by all appearances, Depp has not been able to cut himself out of the shoot. Filming started last month and Depp and Jolie were spied sharing a laugh on set at the Palazzo Pisani Moretta in Venice on Tuesday.

In the flick, Jolie plays an Interpol agent who seduces a tourist, played by Depp, in order to flush out a criminal she had a fling with in the past.

Paradis “found out that there was a real long and intense love scene between [Depp] and Jolie,” a source close to the project said.

“He’s currently trying to [get out of the movie], but I don’t know if he’s succeeded. But he’s trying and they’re talking about replacing him with [Jolie's partner] Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Paradis, Depp’s partner of 12 years with whom she has two kids, doesn’t have to look deep into Jolie’s past to find reasons to worry.

The puffy-lipped siren and Pitt hooked up after they steamed up the screen in “Mr. & Mrs. Smith.”

The 2005 picture was largely credited with busting up Pitt’s Tinseltown union with “Friends” actress Aniston.

Years earlier, Jolie got her hooks into Billy Bob Thornton, while the “Sling Blade” actor was reportedly engaged to actress Dern.

Megan Fox reveals in the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar that she’s only sex with one other man who was apparently so terrible in bed she ran straight into the groin of Brian Austin Green:

“I’ve only been with two men my entire life. My childhood sweetheart and Brian. I can never have sex with someone that I don’t love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I’ve never even come close to having a one-night stand.”

According to Monjack, the actress had a formal will written after they wed and also created a trust, which was also left to her mother.

Monjack told TMZ that the will states, “I am married to Simon Monjack who I have intentionally left out of this will.”

In related news, Sharon reportedly put Brittany’s house on the market on Monday for $7.25 million.

The actress bought the Hollywood Hills home in 2003 for just under $4 million. She bought the 8,000 square foot home from Britney Spears.

One of the best things about being a veteran Winter Olympian is that you can trick younger colleagues into crazy pranks.

Just ask long-track speedskater Ryan Bedford, who was duped into shaving and dyeing his hair to resemble an American flag by older teammate Chad Hedrick.

Hedrick came up with the idea of both men sporting matching cuts but backed out after seeing the bizarre results of Bedford’s follicle surgery.

“Chad is one of the senior guys on the team, so he can get away with it,” said Bedford. “We were joking around last night and he said: ‘Let’s do something crazy.’

“He came up with the idea of the shave. We weren’t really thinking that it would end up like this. I’m the one who gets to look weird.”

The 23-year-old Bedford, from Holland, Mich., finished 12th in the 10,000-meter event Tuesday.

ESPN has suspended former Monday Night Football analyst and host of Pardon The Interruption Tony Kornheiser for two weeks after comments he made on the radio about the wardrobe of SportsCenter host Hannah Storm.

Last week, Kornheiser opened his Washington D.C. radio show by critiquing the clothing Storm was wearing while hosting one of the Tuesday morning editions of “SportsCenter”. He said:

“Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She’s got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt. Way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now. And she’s got on her typically very, very tight shirt. So she looks like she’s got sausage casing wrapping around her upper body. I mean, I know she’s very good, and I’m not supposed to be critical of ESPN people, so I won’t … But, Hannah Storm, come on now! Stop! What are you doing? … [She's] what I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.”

Kornheiser later apologized on air for the remarks and said he called Storm to apologize. But when he wasn’t on PTI yesterday, suspicions grew that ESPN had suspended Kornheiser for having the audacity to criticize a fellow employee.