Here’s Katy Perry posing topless for the UK edition of Esquire and if Russell Brand wants to win the hearts and minds of Americas, he needs to remove those arms on the ASAP.

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A fuming Hal Steinbrenner informed Yankee Stadium executives that Lady Gaga is permanently banned from the team’s clubhouse after her boozy antics — including swigging whiskey and repeatedly fondling her boobs — during a visit to the house that Ruth built Friday night, sources told The Post.

The songstress and two girlfriends sauntered their way into the Bombers’ clubhouse — without team approval — and hung out for 30 minutes after the team lost to the Mets.

She met six players — including Alex Rodriguez and Robinson Cano — while the “Poker Face” singer kept slurring her words trying to say how much she loved the Yankees and how thrilled she was to be inside the exclusive area, sources said.

Lady Gaga’s booze-swilling and breast-feeling were too much for Boss Jr. Hal Steinbrenner, sources said yesterday.

Gaga, drinking Jameson Irish Whiskey, was wearing a Yankees jersey half-unbuttoned, exposing her black bra, fishnet stockings and a bikini bottom.

But apparently she didn’t think that was enough to catch the players’ eyes, so she kept groping her chest over her jersey.

When you’re a young woman in Hollywood who, like Megan Fox, has had a kind of sudden, massive fameconferred upon you—a fame that some argue is not necessarily commensurate with your work or even your talent—you have several options: You can move quickly to cash in on your popularity (e.g. make a record, launch a clothing line, do a reality show); you can go out of your way to make penance for your “unearned” success by signing on for serious projects of a certain artistic or social quality that are ultimately neither very artistic nor very social and don’t actually make any money (it’s very important that they don’t make any money—even accidentally); you can freak out, act out, and burn out; you can reject it all and run away and hide; or you can very quickly become hardened by the entire process. In short, while there are obvious perks to immediate, quaking celebrity (e.g. some money, a certain amount of power, free Vitaminwater), the well-worn escape routes are not entirely appealing.

At the age of 24, Fox has already appeared in two blockbuster movies—Michael Bay’s CGI-robot juggernaut Transformers (2007), and its sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen—which, combined, have grossed more than $1.5billion worldwide. Over the last few years, she has also done a series of other non-Transformers films, including How to Lose Friends and Alienate People (2008), and the campyDiablo Cody–written thriller Jennifer’s Body—the bulk of which have quickly wilted at the box office. But Fox’s penchant for offering up certain intimate-seeming details of her life in interviews—such as the same-sex romance that she once claimed to have had with a stripper named Nikita, or the location of her boyfriend Brian Austin Green’s name on her body she had tattooed (it’s in her lower swimsuit area)—has provided an entertaining sideshow.

She’s also good about unprompted name-checks (“If I could just be Angelina [Jolie]’s girlfriend, I would be so happy.” “I want to eat Robert Pattinson.” “Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands.”)

I’m not pretentious enough to just sit around and think about how I’m a tool for the whole Hollywood machine. But it has crossed my mind.—Megan Fox

For years, the great revelatory insights about the way pop culture works were that celebrity is about image and that we like to build people up in order to bring them down. But for an actress like Fox, who came of age in the era of reality TV, social media, and second-to-second news cycles, these aspects of celebrity mythmaking (and breaking) are almost elementary. Fox herself has acknowledged as much, offering that some of the more outrageous things she has said in interviews were purely for effect, because—as an aforementioned a young actress in

Hollywood who has had conferred upon her sudden, massive fame—she knows that she is playing a role, that we live in a culture evermore about images, sound bites,
and archetypes, and she has decided that she needs to manipulate the system in order to avoid being consumed by it. It’s somewhat cynical, yes, and true that she is self-invented (as most famous people are), but in Fox’s case, the persona she has created and the way she has seemed to process her own fame hints at an underlying element of self-preservation at work. Fox says outrageous things. She takes sexy pictures. She looks good on film. But she doesn’t try to pull at your heartstrings by pretending to bare her soul. She doesn’t attempt to demystify herself through overexplanation. She doesn’t try to really prove anything to you. She just gives you what she thinks you want and keeps the important stuff for herself.

Fox’s next two films—Jonah Hex, with Josh Brolin, Michael Fassbender, and John Malkovich, and Passion Play, with Mickey Rourke and Bill Murray—are both departures, the former a sci-fi comic-book Western about a horrifically scarred cowboy with a spiritual hole in his heart, the latter a magical-realist drama in which Fox’s character sprouts wings at puberty and is drafted into a traveling circus. “I want to do different things,” said Fox, calling one early-May afternoon from Los Angeles, where she was busy preparing to film the third installment of Transformers. “I mean, Transformers is enormous, but it’s exhausting because it’s just this huge, huge machine,” she continued. “The studio, the director—everyone has so much power in this project that the actors are sort of very small in the midst of this very large movie.” Days later, it was announced that Fox would no longer be a part of Transformers 3. In a statement, she said that it was her decision, though some reports cited her rumored frosty relationship with Bay as the primary reason for her exit. (In an interview last year, she described Bay as a “tyrant” and, for typical Foxian effect, likened his on-set workaday methods to those of Napoleon and Hitler.)

Now, as the door closes on Transformers, Fox is imagining a very different kind of career—and life—beyond it. To ensure we provided her with an ample foil, we recruited comedian Zach Galifianakis to interview her for this story—and he boldly went where few men have gone before.

One final note: At the end of the photo shoot that accompanies this interview, which took place at the Chateau Marmont in L.A., Fox asked if she could keep the head of the mannequin seen in the story, which was made to look exactly like her, as a souvenir. When the concern was raised that the paparazzi perched outside the hotel might get a picture of her leaving, ostensibly, carrying her own head, Fox didn’t blanch. She didn’t stop and worry about what the tabloids might do with such an image, what people might say. I mean, what would the caption be? She didn’t wring her hands or furrow her brow. She just threw her head in a shopping bag and went on her way.

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For the July issue of Vanity Fair, Norman Jean Roy photographed the spooky beauties of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse—five vampires (Dakota Fanning, Nikki Reed, Ashley Greene, Elizabeth Reaser, Bryce Dallas Howard) and one lone lady werewolf (Julia Jones). Nancy Jo Sales was on set, where, between takes, the girls mused on the gothic romance that has everyone palpitating.

Nikki Reed plays the disapproving Rosalie Cullen. Here’s her take on the story’s appeal: “Bella and Edward’s love is very taboo and forbidden,” says Reed, “and I think that kind of represents all youthful relationships, because that’s what all first loves feel like. … It’s sort of borderline, like, insane.”

Elizabeth Reaser, who plays vampire mom Esme, exclaims on the attractive young men of Twilight: “Oh, it gets so old, you have no idea,” says Reaser. “It has no effect on me. They’re all gorgeous and lovely boys. … You just want someone interesting and weird at a certain point. I have a massive crush on Larry David.”

Bryce Dallas Howard, a replacement actress playing vampire-with-a-vengeance Victoria, is a Twihard: “I had seen Twilight innumerable times. After I saw it for the fourth time, one of my best guy friends, for my birthday, made me Post-it notes with Robert Pattinson’s face that said, ‘Live Dangerously,’ because I was so obsessed. My husband actually said to me, ‘Do I need to be worried about this?’”

Ashley Greene, who plays psychic vampire Alice, anticipates success: “You don’t have to be psychic to know how this movie’s going to do,” she says. “Obviously, it’s going to be a hit.”

Answer after the jump!

Here’s Blake Lively in the latest issue of Vogue where she talks about the fitness benefits of doing stunt work for Green Lantern:

Lively has been rehearsing with a stunt coordinator who works on the Bond movies and with gymnastic acrobats from Cirque du Soleil. “Our director likes it real–the fights close and dirty,” she explains, and for added veracity aerial stunts are being filmed in the rig created for The Matrix. “I’m 40 feet in the air, spiraling around. That’s the best workout you can ever do because it’s all core,” she tells me. “You do that for ten minutes and you should see your body the next day! It’s so exhilarating, so thrilling–and nauseating,” she adds.

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The 34-year-old Mad Men actress penned an article to men, giving tips about what she thinks women love and hate. Here are some excerpts:

– Remember what we like. When I first started dating my husband, I had this weird fascination with the circus and clowns and old carnival things and sideshow freaks and all that. About a month after we started dating, he bought me this amazing black-and-white photo book on the circus in the 1930s, and I started sobbing. Which freaked him out. I thought, Oh, my God, I mentioned this three or four weeks ago and talked about it briefly, but he was really listening to me. And he actually went out and researched and found this thing for me. It was amazing.

– Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying “panties”? It’s sexy. It’s girlie. It’s naughty. Say it more.

– Marriage changes very little. The only things that will get a married man laid that won’t get a single man laid are adultery and whores. Intelligence and humor (and your smell) are what get you laid. That’s what got you laid when you were single. That’s what gets you laid when you’re married. Everything still works in marriage: especially intelligence and humor. Because the sexiest thing is to know you.

Read Christina’s full article at Esquire.com!

“I don’t get why everyone is always going on about my butt. I’m Armenian. It’s normal,” says Kim Kardashian. “My butt is probably not as big as you might think, because I have small legs and a small waist, which makes it appear bigger.”

Even so, her curves helped rocket the 29-year-old into a one-woman multimillion-dollar earning industry. But they used to be nothing but a source of tears. “I was wearing a C cup by the time I was 11. I would go to bed and pray, ‘Please, Lord, don’t let my boobs grow any bigger,’” remembers Kardashian. “I hated what was happening.”

Growing up in Los Angeles surrounded by blonde California girls, the five-foot-two-and-a-half-inch brunette found solace in the vintage images of Sophia Loren and Raquel Welch tacked on her wall. “Those became the healthy bodies to look up to. Then came Salma Hayek and Jennifer Lopez. I related to them,” she says.

Now she’s learned to be happy with her looks. “I might have a little bit of cellulite. I might not be toned everywhere. I might struggle in this area or that. But accepting that just empowers me,” she says.

Taking care of herself is part of it. “I’m trying to eat better — which is a struggle. I like carbs,” she says, laughing. “I didn’t [used to] work out. I do now, even when I’d rather sleep in. I’m a firm believer that you should be your best you.”

Kardashian still has shy moments. “A good six months have to go by before I’ll leave the lights on for a boyfriend,” she says. And she didn’t love her 2007 Playboy cover. “I’m sorry I did Playboy. I was uncomfortable,” she remembers, though at the time she was excited. “Go for it,” she recalls her mother saying. “They might never ask you again. Our show isn’t on the air yet. No one knows who you are. Do it and you’ll have these beautiful pictures to look at when you’re my age.”

This time around, Kardashian is much happier. “It’s definitely scary, but it’s very liberating,” she says. “I think the message is embrace your curves and who you are. I feel proud if young girls look up to me and say, ‘I’m curvy, and I’m proud of it now.’”

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The clothes came off; the courage came out. Learn what these stars, including Emmanuelle Chriqui, Colbie Caillat, and Kara DioGuardi, had to say about their bodies, their workouts, and what it felt like to drop the robe. For more of our revealing interviews with them, pick up the May issue of Allure, on newsstands April 20.

“Some women want bigger breasts,” says the Entourage actress. “But [I wish] I could have had a dancer’s body. I sometimes wear plunging necklines because they make me feel smaller.” At the shoot, she was on day four of a ten-day organic-food “cleanse.” The point wasn’t to drop pounds. “It’s not about losing weight. I didn’t want to feel freaked out about today, so I consciously kept focusing on excitement.”

“This shoot was less about beauty than about taking a risk and showing people a side of me they never have seen,” says the American Idol judge. She was proud to have the confidence to strip down for the camera after struggling with binge eating and depression in her early 20s. “Back then I was a size 6 or 8; now I’m more like a size 2. Food is not what I use to anesthetize myself anymore.” She didn’t diet or work out like a maniac in preparation, but she did make one change: cutting way back on salt. “I can really retain water,” she says.

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There are things in this existence that are fair, and there are things that are not. The rules of backgammon are undeniably fair. That Macaulay Culkin gets Mila Kunis is not. It’s not just that she looks like an anime cartoon. Or that she’s the ultimate guys’-girl, having starred in everything from The Book of Eli to Family Guy. Or that she is the type of comedian that steals every scene she’s in, most recently (and perhaps most impressively) as a foulmouthed stripper turned blackmailer who helps ruin Tina Fey and Steve Carell’s nice, suburban lives in this month’s Date Night. She is all those things, of course. But Mila Kunis also happens to be one of the funniest women we’ve ever had the good fortune to speak with.

“I love a good dick joke,” she says, in a tone usually reserved for topics like Iranian nuclear enrichment or troop levels in Waziristan. “Fart jokes. Poop jokes. They’re hilarious.

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